I’m 3 days post surgery and now have a new screw inserted above my knee in the hope that it will stabilise the broken femur & encourage bone compression at the fracture site, thus encouraging healing.
That’s the medical theory & it all sounds straight forward & very practical doesn’t it!
There is another side of the practical theory & that is the personal effect this broken femur has had and is having on my life. The fatigue of constant pain & numerous surgeries seems never ending as I again struggle through the effects of waning General Anaesthetic & strong pain killers. Reflection time allows me to grieve the loss of my ability to run, to even walk normally, to shop, to go to church, to participate in life with the energy & passion I have always enjoyed.
I don’t ask why me, I don’t feel sorry for myself, I’m just tired of being in pain. I know I am not alone & in many regards my struggle is nowhere near as bad as so many. I am blessed to be administrating the online support forum for Arthritis Queensland & privileged to share the stories of so many brave women who are battling inflammatory arthritis such as Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Psoriatic Arthritis and have bodies crippled by pain in the prime of their lives. I now also administer the forum for parents of children with Juvenile-Idiopathic-Arthritis and their stories cause my heart to break. Children as young as 2 years old, crippled by autoimmune arthritis & being treated with low dose chemotherapy.
The strength of women coming together and openly sharing their stories & clinging to the fact that they are not alone is heart warming. The courage of parents struggling with the decision to medicate their young children with toxic chemotherapy drugs or take the risk of them having such severe damage to their joints that they will be crippled for life, is inspiring & excruciating to read.
Underlying all the individual stories shared, is a determination & strength never to give up but to make the most of every day. To accept the pain for what it is but to choose to find joy in the simple things of life. To look at life as a new adventure. Grieving what is lost, yes, but looking forward to finding new ways to do things, new activities to enjoy, new friendships formed out of adversity.
With Gods grace, living a full and precious life is possible. Taking time to reflect is so important and probably the most important part of the healing process. It renews strength, resolve, courage & new dreams and hopes never thought possible, can be forged.