Living with a chronic disease reminds me a little of some of my previous plane trips. I’d start off full of nervous anticipation with a little fear of what lay ahead once on board. There were some smooth passages & then all of a sudden we’d hit almighty turbulence.
Today I hit “chronic illness” turbulence. The less pleasant part of my health journey.
It’s not just one thing it’s a culmination of health events which have created cyclonic circumstances.
I have a major tooth abscess in my lower jaw affecting my jaw bone & a neighbouring wisdom tooth. That needs surgery under General Anaesthetic next week. My bone disease complicates matters so it has to be done in hospital. That’s just a little turbulence but manageable.
The antibiotics/penicillin I’m taking to keep the abscess under control, while awaiting surgery, are causing major issues for my stoma. So a little more turbulence has been created but I’m still hanging on tightly through this part of the journey.
My broken femur then decided that no party is complete without a “break dance”. Hmm…..yes, probably a little too corny that line but it was begging to be typed😄.
I literally couldn’t lift my leg off the floor two nights ago & my husband had to physically help me into bed. That’s painful turbulence of the highest degree.
Scans & xrays on my leg have revealed I now have bone growing into my muscles. It’s apparently a complication of my body trying to heal my broken femur but getting it all wrong. It explains my worsening pain & disability & from what I’ve been told there is little that can be done. It’s causing me to have muscle bleeds which my Surgeon has explained are incredibly painful when they happen & he thinks that’s what occurred two nights ago. It will settle but it will likely happen again. More turbulence ahead is imminent!
This chronic disease onslaught, can be all too much to comprehend at times but I need to calm the storm. I need to quieten my mind & body.
While I’m treading water, after what feels like my chronic illness flight has crashed into the deep sea, I’m beginning to think upon things that are certain.
It’s the certainties in life that restore my calm. Without them I would undoubtedly drown. My certainties today are:
- I’ve got through the turbulence before
- My husband is here by my side
- My medical team are so supportive & are again all working together to provide me with the best care possible. My Surgeon even phoned to help assure me he is on hand whenever I need him.
- It could be worse…it could always be worse
- I now understand why my leg pain is worsening & I know to lower my expectations of my physical capabilities even further
- I now know, without a shadow of a doubt, my strict daily rest patterns are integral to reducing the intensity of muscle pain in my legs & to prevent bleeds. Note to self….do not try & miss them!!
- God continues to look after me through the calm & the turbulent passages, even if it’s via a friend sending an encouraging message when I least expect it & at just the right moment. That alone provides me with such joy & the perfect timing still never ceases to amaze me.
I’ve realised on my chronic illness jouney & through journeying with so many other beautiful people on Medical Musings with Friends, who are living daily with the uncertainties of chronic illness, that sometimes we don’t need the turbulence to disappear completely to be happy & at peace.
All we need is a spoonful of strength, found in the things that are our anchors in life.
Those places & moments where we find certainty that the turbulence will pass & calm will return, they are the things that strengthen our hearts & minds.
A spoonful of strength gives us the resolve to hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
For more of my musings & articles, I’m also a Contributor at “The Mighty” https://themighty.com/author/samantha-moss/